Saturday, December 6, 2014

My SUV mind as well be a mini van

The other day, while driving my three little adorable monsters to the gym, Jake pipe’s up from the back seat.
“Mom, I wiped my boogers on your window again”
Again?!?!?! Implying I have been inadvertently exposing the back of my shoulders to all sorts of nastiness every time I get the kids in and out of their car seats ?!?!?!?! GROSS, I vomit a little in my mouth realizing I will have to clean this up. Five minutes later Jake also informs me
“I am done my snack”
I had given him a nutragrain bar (yes, mom of the year) which I know has a wrapper, and it’s probably covered in crumbs and gooey filling.
“Jake, where’d you put the wrapper?”
“In the garbage” he happily replies.
Two things are wrong with this; one, he’s strapped into his car seat and his arms have about a one foot radial reach. Two, there is absolutely no garbage can, container, bin or bag of any sorts in my car. Yep, he threw it straight on the floor.
Mental note, Appendix: Pay Backs a B*tch- When Jake is driving me to doctors’ appointments in my senile years- I am totally picking my nose and wiping it on the dashboard.

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